How to get a girl in 5 days or not
by insertwickedpennamehere
Summary: Dean tries to get Rory. Rory likes Jess. Chill Rory does NOT end up with dean. BTW Dean is potrayed as an idiot. Please read. Way better ,so I think, then I make it sound. Very AU
1. To the Dean Truck

Okay, so this little idea of mine has been floating around my head for a while. Enjoy

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Summary: oh, just read it. BTW it is from Deans point of view for the whole story.

Rory, Rory, Rory.

Dean, Dean, Dean.

Rory and Dean. Don't those names sound perfect together? I, Dean, think so. Rory Gilmore is the one I will marry. Because I love her. She just doesn't know she loves me back. I have just got to show her that she does! Hmmm… what would Kelly Clarkson, my idol, do? Flowers! Yeah every girl loves flowers! Every girl I have ever "wooed" I got them flowers. To the Dean Truck! So Dean went to the "Dean Truck" in search of flowers for Rory.

"But you won't get to see these tears I cried behind these hazel eyes!" Dean belted out. I LOVE that song! It is so, like ME! It just explains me, he thought to himself. He pulled up to the flower shop, combed his hair once through, and entered. So here I am at the flower shop, what to get her he thought. Roses, lilies, tulips… so many choices! This is so hard! UGH! Right then a nice lady that worked at the shop came up. "May I help you?" she asked the floppy haired boy. "Uh yeah," I started. " I am looking for some flowers for my" I paused. What exactly _was_ Rory? … "girlfriend" I continued. The woman looked disappointed. Who could blame her? I _am_ such a babe magnet, everyone wants me. The lady left. Great service I said in my head. After looking for a while I gave up. I left with my head held down in disappointment.

In my truck, I continued to think of the greatest gift for Rory. What could I get her? I pondered, after awhile though my head hurt so I had to stop. I decided to stop at Luke's diner for dinner, hoping maybe Rory would be there. I regretfully turned off Since U Been Gone and entered. I saw Rory! I mentally patted my self on the back for having such brains. But wait who is that? Oh yeah, that new kid. Mess, Less, Kess, Tess… Right then Rory shouted out "Jess!" Oh yeah that is his name, Jess. I tuned in to their conversation.

"Hemmingway is a crack addict!" Rory shouted. Hemmingway, I thought? What is that? A song?

"He is brilliant Rory! Little Ayn though…" Jess replied. Who is Ayn, I wondered. His girlfriend?

"Ayn is a wonderful author she writes great!" Rory retorted. Jeez, who is this AYN chick they are talking about, I thought? This is making me crazy! Ugh…

Right then Lorelai broke the two up. "Rory we have to go" she said.

"Okay mom" "Bye Jess!" she smiled at him.

"Bye" he said simply "See you tomorrow"

"Bye Luke" she turned to me "Bye Dean" she said without emotion, turned her heel and left.

Bye Dean? Bye Dean? Those words played over in my head over and over again as I sat in my bed. Shoot I thought, I think she likes this Jess fellow. I turned on "Breakaway" by Kelly and tried to get some sleep. I have got lots of work to do.

Okay so yeah this is really short but they will get longer. I hope you liked it!


	2. Dr phil

**First off I just want to thank you all for the reviews!**

**Britbrat: Yeah, I know none of these songs were out in 2003, just go with it. And Dean is supposed to be acting like a girl( if you didn't get that) And of course this is going to be a lit! Everything else is useless!**

**Lil M.A.K. : I just kind of threw the whole Kelly thing in there. I was listening to her then I was all like hmm… dean should listen to this. **

**Terrifying Space Monkey: So happy you love it. And they are not looking at you because you are weird, they are looking at you because you are SO pretty!**

**LUKE N LORELAI 4 EVER N ALWAYS: Making fun of Dean's… uh lets say "specialness" is FUN! I mean he is just that kind of idiot!**

**Kinky-Bugs: Really? YES! That was what I was going for!**

**Sapphirestar820: Oh God, how could I forget? I am so out of it sometimes. (read below for setting and all that other crap)**

Yep, so sorry this wasn't in the last one.

Setting(and all that other crap): So this takes place around season 2. Dean and Rory have not EVER been together, but Dean wants to get with Rory. According to Dean Rory and him are best of friends(but really they aren't) Umm… I think that is it.

Chapter 2!

I woke up this morning with A LOT of determination! More then I had ever felt before. Even more then when I was raising money for the Kelly Clarkson concert tickets. And trust me, I put a lot of determination into that. But that doesn't matter anymore. Rory is all that matters (sorry Kelly) She is my life, my idol(once again really sorry Kelly) without her, I am nothing. Dean knew he had a lot of thinking ahead of him and was very thankful when his mom called him down to breakfast. And with all that said, the floppy haired boy went downstairs for some yummy pancakes!

After the pancakes(which were chocolate chip!) Dean decided get some "real help" on this matter. He entered Andrew's Bookstore. Poor Andrew nearly had a heart attack! For a while Andrew thought that Jess or someone had slipped some pot or something in his coffee from the diner. When the jolly green giant spoke Andrew decided he was not hallucinating and began to breathe normally again. "May I help you" he asked politely.

"Yeah, I am looking for some books"

No shit, Andrew thought "What are the titles?"

"Um… don't know, I was looking for some self help books" Dean stated.

"Right over there" Andrew said pointing to the part of the store that had that big SELF HELP sign over it.

Dean gave Andrew a grin "thanks!" he said

Dean decided that he was going to start with a nice Dr. Phil book. He picked up one called, "LOVE! How YOU can get it!" He decided that he would read this one first.

"Finding affection and keeping it is an eternal quest. To fully get an understanding of love we must explore…" Crap Dean said in his mind. I think I will need a dictionary. " Hey Andrew…"

Damn Andrew thought as he walked over to Dean.

After 3 hours of reading (or asking Andrew to explain the book to him) Dean was tired. His head hurt. He had never read that much in his whole life! But when determined he could do anything he set his mind to… or so he liked to think. He decided to catch the end of "Lord of the Rings" at the Stars Hollow Theater. He began his walk. While walking he was still thinking about how he could get Rory. The books were helpful, but now he had to complete the rest of his "quest" as the weird Doc. Had called it.

When he reached the theater, he was pleasantly surprised when he saw Rory alone. Now was his chance to make the first step!

"Hey!" he said casually.

"Hey" she said

"What's up?" he asked hoping to start a conversation.

"nothing much, how is Clara?"

OMG! Dean thought. She asked about Clara! That means she cares about my family which mean she cares about me! OMG! Yes! Breathe Dean. "She is good."

" Good" Rory said simply but to Dean this simple answer was so much more.

"So.." he was cut off by Rory.

" Shh… the movie is starting" she said smiling.

Dean shook his head and whispered "sorry"

Now while all of this meant nothing to Rory, Dean thought it meant A LOT! He decided maybe she doesn't like Jess after all. He grinned for the rest of the movie. And when he go home he played "Miss Independent" his favorite Kelly song.

Okay, so yeah I know short but still it was longer then the last one!

Review Please!


	3. James Blunt!

Once again, thank you for the reviews! They greatly make me fell happy!

Dean woke up feeling rather swell. According to him he had Rory right where she should be, now all he had to do was set the date. What should they do? When should they have the date? Dean wasn't sure of this. What did Rory like to do? Dean had no clue. So he decided to follow her.

Dean stated his journey at the diner, he peeped through the window, and sure enough there she was. He decided to wait outside for a while until Rory was done.

So he waited…

And waited…

And waited some more.

Finally after being tired of sitting in the sun (it greatly hurt his complexion greatly) he peeped inside. She was nowhere! How could that be he thought. Maybe she went to the bathroom. Yeah that is it. She went to the bathroom. Dean knew his skin was about to fall off (seriously, this so bad for his skin!) so unwillingly he went inside. He ordered a cup of coffee and started to wait. While waiting he heard this.

" Kirk!" exclaimed Taylor

"Yep?" answered Kirk

"How could you?"

" How could I what?" Kirk asked confused

" This!" Taylor holds up a sign that advertises Kirks Sex services

" Yeah, what about it?"

" It says the "s" word Kirk!"

" Yeah, but it is to raise money for the bridge!"

" You think _this _will help raise money?" Taylor practically yelled.

" Yeah, I mean a lot of people just want to relieve them selves after a long day" Kirk states

" But with you?"

At this point Luke injects his comments " Kirk, I believe you just got burned!"

" Luke, shut up. You are not helping!" Taylor says.

" Really Taylor? Because I really thought that my comment would help bring peace to you two. "

" Luke!"

Luke changes the subject " hey Taylor would you like some coffee?"

Taylor sighs and continues "Kirk this is Stars Hollow, we just don't advertise… well you know.

" I am sorry Taylor!"

" Yes, well fine. How many of these flyers did you put up?"

Kirk remains silent

"KIRK!"

"100" Kirk whispers

"100!" Taylor exclaims!

" I promise to collect every single one of the flyers"

" START NOW!"

Wow, Dean thinks to himself. This is one crazy town I live in. Right then Rory comes downstairs with Jess.

"Oh Rory you just missed a Stars Hollow Classic Fight!" Lorelai told her daughter.

" NO!" Rory said whining. " What was it about"

"Kirk's Sex Services" Lorelai says trying to hold in her laughter.

"Oh man" Rory complains. " You WILL fill me in about it when I come back"

" Where are you going" Lorelai asks

" To go to the bridge with Jess" Rory says

" Oh okay, well have fun"

"Thanks, I will" Rory said

" Bye Rory" Lorelai said

" Bye mom" Rory said as her and Jess walked out the diner.

Dean stared. He was shocked! With JESS! Not him. He felt his heart breaking. HE had to follow them. He rushed out of the diner, to the bridge.

When he got there he hid in some bushes. He saw them talking. He was jealous of Jess. He had what he wanted. Rory. He stayed a while, but he wished he hadn't. After about 5 minutes Jess leans in for a kiss. Rory goes in as well. The kiss becomes more heated and Dean turns his head. He begins to head home.

When he arrives he puts in a new CD he just got. James Blunt

"She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man."

The song played on. Dean thought about this whole thing. Rory didn't love him. He couldn't help it. There was nothing he could do. He knew she was with Jess and that was that.

"But it's time to face the truth,

I will never be with you."

And the song ended, just like that. Just like his "Relationship" with Rory.

Before falling asleep Dean thought about this James Blunt Lad. Wow, I like totally love him! Move over Kelly!

YAY! I completed another chapter! I am so proud! Anyways, the Litness of the story can now begin! Review please!


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